Little Boy Lost

I feel like a lost soul.

Yes, yes. This is a whiny career post.

No, no. I don't really feel like a lost soul, nor do I particularly want to talk about it beyond what I will write here.

I have been without a job for over a month now. While a month may seem like a long time, the month in question has certainly passed in the blink of an eye. I am not pulling my hair out. Nor am I restless. I happen to be fairly content with how I pass my days.

Pegg wakes up at about 6:30am for work. I hear her getting ready, and feel her kiss me goodbye, and then fall back to sleep for a bit. Usually by 8 or 8:30 I am up, and ready for another day.

I make coffee. I have breakfast. I fuck around on the internet. I fuck around with my resume some. I watch some TV. I do some laundry or straighten up a bit in the apartment. Usually I will venture out on an errand, or for a walk, or for some food. Today, for example, I met Champy for lunch. Then I'll wait for Pegg to get home so we can make dinner, or go to the gym, or go out with friends. Not a bad way to spend the day, I tell you.

My problem is not that I am unhappy with this lifestyle. My problem might even be somewhat opposite. My problem is this: I know it can't last. I must work. I just don't know what I want to do.

Since college I have worked in technology. Computers. Servers. Applications. Systems. This is all I feel I am qualified to do. The problem is, I barely feel qualified to do this. I don't have much of a background in it. I was a Psychology major, after all. I've been faking it a bit, for years. Now I have time on my hands. Time I could use to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. Unfortunately I don't really have the foggiest idea.

Part of me thinks I should just take the best tech job I can find. Get back to work, ASAP, and start saving again. Then I will have income and stability behind my craziness, and can take all the time in the world to figure things out.

Another part of me is realistic enough to know that if I take another tech job, then that is what I will wind up doing indefinitely. I would stick with that until something major happened. Until an offer to do something else fell into my lap, or until we needed to move, etc... I wouldn't spend my free time looking for a real career. That's just me.

So here I am in limbo. I know I need to work. I know my only qualifications are for tech jobs. I know I might want to do something else. So I am half-heartedly starting to look into tech openings, silently hoping that something better comes my way.

Is it possible to feel so pigeon-holed this early in my career? I guess so.